The Joy of Stench Pipes

I was at the Patrolling the Streets Scrutiny Commission tonight giving an update on the introduction of the 22 new Police Community Support Officers we as a Labour council have invested in. I have a feeling the Commission was supposed to report its findings at the beginning of the year, but here we are in May. Could this have anything to do with it being chaired by a Lib Dem?

Anyway, I was followed in the hotseat (bear in mind this was hardly the Spanish Inquisition) by Cllr Jackie Meldrum, the Deputy Leader, who was answering questions about our plans for greater community engagement.

Jackie prefaced her remarks by expressing her views on the literally hundreds of council staff who patrol Lambeth streets, from highways engineers to refuse collectors.

She then went slightly off the page, and I was unable to force back giggles, when she told the assembled councillors, officers and single member of the public that: "I'm very interested in stench pipes."

I may have giggled at the sudden remark, but there is a seriousness to the situation, both in terms of sanitation and conservation. She was referring to the 158 stench pipes there are (apparently) dotted around Lambeth, only about six of which the council and Thames Water actually know the location of.

So I'm publishing a picture to give a general indication, in case anyone bumps into one (not literally I hope). They are taller than lamp posts, Victorian in design and probably looking a bit the worse for wear since they have been forgotten about. So support your local stench pipe, if you can find it first.

Deputy Hopefuls Come to Streatham South

This afternoon 5 of the 6 candidates for Deputy Leader of the Labour Party came straight from a large hustings in Coventry to a branch social in Streatham South. We had laid on a good spread for Peter Hain, Hazel Blears, Harriet Harman, Jon Cruddas and Hilary Benn, and a large number of local party members came along to enjoy the sunshine and pick the contending brains. Some people came with very searching questions about party democracy, Iraq, equalities issues, poverty in Africa and a host of other subjects.

It was slightly surreal standing in the garden while the contenders mingled with Streatham members. It was all perfectly amicable and the members were chuffed to bits that these busy political figures had taken time to come to SW16 to hear what the members wanted to ask them before they made their decision about who to vote for.

There's an article in the New Statesman about it here, which rather misses the point that it was intended to be a small, friendly and intimate event, to contrast with the big hustings we will see in the next few weeks:

www.newstatesman.com/200705220003

Letter to The Times

I've written the following letter to The Times after reading the obnoxious article today by Mr Weak himself, former prime minister John Major, who attempts to throw vitriol on Labour's record over the past ten years.

Dear Sir

John Major accuses the Labour government of being “a waste of time” (The Times 2nd May).

Does John Major consider the minimum wage or two million more people in work to be a waste of time? Or the huge improvements in the NHS and education? Or the ban on foxhunting, which David Cameron wants to repeal as a priority of any new Tory government?

This shameless and arrogant piece is an insult to the millions of people who wasted their time on the dole under Major's disastrously weak and uncaring government. I recall his own Chancellor, Norman Lamont, saying the country's slump was “a price worth paying'” - a piece of spin strangely resonant in today's Tory party under his former spin doctor, David Cameron. Meanwhile, his trade secretary Michael Heseltine, who had promised “to intervene breakfast, dinner and tea to help British companies” busied himself before one breakfast in 1992 by making nearly thirty thousand miners redundant before lunchtime. Leaving aside the worst recession in British history, what achievement can Major really be identified with? The cones hotline?

Yours faithfully

Cllr Mark Bennett

Labour Councillor for Streatham South

Major's article is at: www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article1733740.ece

National Councillors Day

Not only is it St George's Day today (Huzzah!) but it is also (allegedly) William Shakespeare's birthday. The old bard would in fact be 443 if he were alive today.

These dates are well known - even if Shakespeare's actual birthday is probably a matter of wishful thinking - and reasonably well marked. What is not so well known is that John Shakespeare, the Sweet Swan of Avon's dear old dad, was an Alderman in Stratford - an early representative of local government.

So I say to myself, why shouldn't we use the same day to mark the national poet, England's national saint and our much-maligned elected representatives in local government?

If Britain can have a national jelly bean day (as we did, yesterday) and a national allotments week (coming our way 13-19 August) and even a national moth night (11 August, put it in your diary), surely it's not beyond the bounds of possibility to have a national councillors day. I doubt the greeting card industry would be rushed off their feet with requests for "Happy Councillors Day, Councillor!" cards, so it's got to be cheap.

Surprisingly, Shakespeare didn't write any grand dramas about cloak-and-dagger town hall intrigues - even though he spent a lot of time in Southwark.

W. S. Gilbert, however, gave us his appreciation of the role of new-fangled county councillors in the 1893 Gilbert and Sullivan opera "Utopia Limited":

"This County Councillor acclaim,
Great Britain's latest toy —
On anything you like to name
His talents he'll employ —
All streets and squares he'll purify
Within your city walls,
And keep, meanwhile, a modest eye
On wicked music halls."

Ah yes, those wicked music halls. Still a problem.

Happy St George's Day!

Streatham Common Kite Day

Out, with some friends and a picnic, to watch the kites on Streatham Common. For the last ** years, the Common has hosted a Kite Day, and every year the event goes from strength to strength.

Here's a link to a video of what was going on:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=wfDbXrbexz8

And here's a link to the Kite Day website:

http://www.streathamkiteday.org.uk

differing with Mandela

I don't think there's much I would differ on with Nelson Mandela.

But I have to take issue with the great man's reaction to the recent incident of the Tory councillor in Brent who thought it was acceptable to blacken his face and wear a badge declaring himself to be "Councillor Nelson Mandela".

This followed hard on the heels of Tory MP Patrick Mercer, a former Army Colonel, being sacked from his party's front bench for these comments: "If you'd said to them [black soldiers he commanded], 'have you ever been called a nigger?' they would have said 'yes'... that's the way it is in the army. If someone is slow on the assault course, you'd get people shouting 'come on you fat bastard, come on you ginger bastard, come on you black bastard.'"

Cllr Brian Gordon's actions show at best a lack of judgement and at worst the lack of respect that can lead to racism.

Now Mandela's spokesman has reportedly said: "We shouldn't be over sensitive about issues of this nature. Mr Mandela thought it was quite funny. In no way the character was harmed of Nelson Mandela. We can't find anything derogatory in someone dressing up, in fancy dress, portraying Nelson Mandela."

It's a gracious view entirely in keeping with Mandela's forgiving character, but it must be said it ignores the message that Cllr Gordon was, knowingly or unknowingly, sending out about black and minority ethnic people by relegating an iconic black leader to the realms of a fancy dress joke. Cllr Gordon has said: "I am amazed that one or two people are becoming so worked up over a fancy dress outfit that was no more than a piece of harmless fun."

Harmless fun? As Labour MP for Tooting Sadiq Khan said recently: "Anybody who understands racism knows it is a broad spectrum of things. It starts with ridicule and ends with people dying because of the colour of their skin."

What can't be denied or excused, even by the greatest and best of human beings, is that there remain deep-seated problems of acceptance and opportunity for black people living in modern Britain, which is why the Tories should not be allowed to get away with this councillor's behaviour. An example must be made. He should be sacked.

Let's not forget that this is the same Tory party whose leader said last year: "I want our new councillors and council candidates to lead the fightback against racism and division." So Cameron is either out of synch or out of touch with his party. Or out to lunch along with his PR gurus.

Cameron: a tale of two Charlies

Dave the Chameleon, it would appear, is back. Only today he is being compared both to an Easter egg and a style icon.

Charlie Porter of GQ, the men's magazine for the incurably sharp-suited, has declared "Behold! Here's a politician who understands the news agenda is set as much by appearance as it is by words. He impressed our voters with his consistently improved appearance."

Hmm. A bit more to politics than appearance, as I would be happy to demonstrate on most mornings. The appearance of having policies is one thing, but Cameron's Tories don't score too well on that either.

Meanwhile, at the Guardian, the newspaper of record for the less-than-sharp-suited (and bravo for that), one Charlie Brooker is saying:

"David Cameron is an idiot. A simpering, say-anything, dough-faced, preposterous waddling idiot with a feeble, insincere voice ... he appears to consist of little more than a media profile designed to appeal to unthinking snap judgments ... there is nothing to him. He is like a hollow Easter egg with no bag of sweets inside. Cameron will say absolutely anything if he thinks it might get him elected. If a shock poll was published saying 99% of the British public were enthusiastic paedophiles, he would drive through the streets in an open-top bus surrounded by the Mini Pops. He's nothing. He's no one."

Make of these opinions what you will. I know what I think, which tends ever so slightly towards the latter view. But in the end, as Cameron might well be thinking, what possible difference can two Charlies make?